I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
