So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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