last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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