but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
