so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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