You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize