Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
