Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
