oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
