You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
