there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
