Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
