I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
