Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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