ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize