First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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