then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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