Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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