I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
