She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
