This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
