so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
