I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
