My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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