What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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