never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
