you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
