As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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