Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
