puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize