"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
