When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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