I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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