i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
