i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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