I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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