I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
