if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
