I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Do you still have your period?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize