I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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