He passed out mid-signature
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
