i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
