I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My bed smells like the plague
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
