I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
