i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
