Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
