i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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