Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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