I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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