I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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