We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
