Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
