He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
