Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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