Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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