I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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