it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He has the fingertips of a God
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