No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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