I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
