who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
