Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
