we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
