I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
