So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In other news, I just burned my penis
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
