I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
