We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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