So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
