so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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