Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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