I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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