he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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