On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
