I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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